Wishing for Us Read online

  Lydia pinched the bridge of her nose before saying, “I still don’t see how we got from there to having Elvis marry us. I’ve had a few drinks before without marrying the first man I ran into.”

  She yelped as Jacob pinched her toe. “Thanks for the ego boost, sweetheart. You make it sound as if you tied the knot with the casino janitor.”

  “This is no time to get sensitive,” she chided, although she did feel a little guilty for the unlikely possibility that she had, in fact, hurt his feelings. Her opinion wouldn’t keep a man like Jacob up at night.

  His hand remained on her foot, and strangely enough, he began rubbing it absentmindedly. She wondered if he was aware that he was even doing it. “You told me about your fiancé dying and how sad you were that you’d never have your happily-ever-after like Crystal and Mark.”

  “Oh, good Lord.” Lydia sagged back against the mattress, feeling boneless in her embarrassment. Maybe the bed would swallow her up and she could end this misery now. She’d literally been crying in her beer in front of the man she fantasized about licking like a Popsicle. Color me pathetic. “And you what, took pity on me and decided to help me mark a big one off my bucket list?”

  The hand on her foot froze as he said, “It really wasn’t like that, Lydia. We really connected and got swept up in the moment together. I could see that you were still in pain, even though it’s been three years since Brett died. You had a life planned with him and then it was taken away from you. Naturally, you would feel that loss keenly at an engagement party. You showed no sign of being jealous of Crystal and Mark. You were just sad that the wedding you’d planned never came to be. So even though you were joking when you asked me to marry you, I said yes. Then we took a cab a few blocks to the wedding chapel and made it official.”

  It was worse—so much worse—than she had even imagined. “Jacob,” she began hoarsely once she could speak past the lump in her throat. “I—I don’t know what to say. You didn’t have to marry me last night just because you pitied me. And I can’t believe I went along with it. Was I coherent when I said, ‘I do’?”

  She squealed in alarm when Jacob suddenly shifted to his knees, and in a blur of movement that her eyes could hardly track, he was straddling her body. He looked beyond pissed when he gritted out, “Let’s get a few things straight. First off, I didn’t marry you because I felt sorry for you. Get that out of your head right now. Did I feel bad that you’d lost your fiancé? Hell, yeah. I’m only human. But your strength really struck me last night, Lydia. You were so damned happy that your friend had found Mark and there wasn’t a trace of pettiness behind it. You told me about sitting with Brett in his last days and doing everything short of moving mountains to make all of his last wishes come true. It was clear to me that you could have given up and walked away, but you stayed with him until the end. You’re strong and selfless. So when I asked you what your dream was and you said to get married the way that you’d planned, something came over me, Lydia . . . I wanted to give it to you. It may be crazy, but I had no reservations when I gave you my name.”

  Lydia was riveted as she stared up at him. The truth of his words was plain to see in his body language. She’d told him everything about Brett’s death; otherwise, he’d never have known all of the details that he’d so achingly replayed for her. She could feel her bottom lip tremble as tears welled in her eyes. “But we’re strangers,” she whispered. “Before last night, the only thing I really knew about you was that you were handy with a spare tire and worked for Mark DeSanto. And I’m sure you knew even less about me.”

  Jacob lowered his hand to gently trace the curve of her mouth. “I desired you from the moment you stood before me in that silky white dress in the garage, looking like the most beautiful damsel in distress I’d ever seen. I’m surprised you didn’t notice what a fumbling mess I was while I was working on your car. I wanted to ask you out that day, but—well, things were so damned complicated in my life then, and I thought you deserved a man who could devote all of his attention to you.”

  “That hasn’t been that long ago,” she pointed out. “What’s changed for you since then?”

  He opened his mouth and then closed it again. Finally, he shrugged and said, “Maybe I just didn’t want to miss my chance with you. Sooner or later, someone would come along and sweep you off your feet and I’d have kicked myself that I’d let you go without getting a shot.”

  She felt dazed as she considered his words. Had he really been that attracted to her from their first meeting? That would mean that he’d felt at least some of what she had after the time they’d spent together that day.

  He pointed toward the bed then asked in a hesitant voice, “Do you remember anything that happened here afterward?”

  Lydia felt heat rush into her cheeks. Bits and pieces of the time she’d been in his arms were steadily coming back to her. There were gaps, but the longer she was awake, the more she remembered. Thank God. She would likely have never gotten over forgetting her first time with Jacob. “Not all of it,” she admitted. “But . . . I know you, um, were on top, then I was, and then your mouth . . . Any other times that I’m missing?”

  Sounding strained, he said gruffly, “No, baby, I think that about covers it. Thank fuck.” He ran an unsteady hand through his thick, dark hair. “Last night was . . . special to me. And it was going to suck if you didn’t have any recollection of it.”

  She put a hand over his and squeezed. “I know how it felt, Jacob. I was really confused when I woke up this morning. I’m guessing both from the alcohol and a lack of sleep. But things are starting to come back to me.” Her eyes darted down as she added, “You made me feel cherished. You held me as if I was someone that you cared about. I haven’t had that in a long time. With the chemo and his illness, Brett was unable to—you know, so . . .”

  “I understand,” he said softly. He shifted to the side. Lydia was mourning the loss of their body contact when he rolled her into his arms.

  She snuggled against him, loving the musky, masculine smell of his body. “What now?” She hoped he didn’t detect the hint of misery in her voice. They were strangers who had married in a moment of temporary madness. The only thing to do was to have the marriage dissolved and move on.

  The sad thing was, they had been together for less than a day, but she knew that she’d miss him dreadfully when he was gone. But since he’d done what he thought she needed last night, now she would be strong and return the favor by giving him his freedom without any hassle. “Can we get an annulment since we’ve—you know, slept together? Does a drunk Elvis wedding really count as a legal marriage?”

  Jacob’s chest rumbled under her ear as he laughed. She felt something press against the top of her head, but surely he wouldn’t have kissed her, would he? That would be a gesture of affection, and they barely knew each other. “I don’t know the particulars of a Vegas wedding, sweetheart, but it’s nothing we need to worry about right now. No need to rush into anything without thinking it through.”

  She rolled her eyes, even though she knew he couldn’t see her. “I think the ship has already sailed on the whole rushing into things, wouldn’t you say?”

  “Sure,” he agreed easily. “Maybe what I should have said was that we don’t have to make any decisions right now. We will figure things out once we get home and the dust has settled. Today, we’ll fly home together and go from there.”

  “But I’m supposed to travel back with the girls at nine.” She flipped over to look at the bedside clock then shrieked quite loudly in Jacob’s ear. “Dammit! It’s past that time now! Why didn’t they call or come by my room? I can’t believe they would just leave me here.”

  She was on the verge of a full freak-out when Jacob calmly announced, “You’re flying home with me on Mark’s plane. He and Crystal are staying an extra day, so we’ll go back today and then I’ll send the jet back for them. We’re leaving at noon, so we have ple
nty of time to dress and have breakfast before the car picks us up.”

  I’m lying with a scantily clad Jacob Hay calmly discussing cars and jets. Someone needed to pinch her and bring her back to reality. Even as Lydia pondered how bizarre the morning had been, she couldn’t help but marvel at how well she was handling it all.

  It’s not as if something like this had ever happened to her before. So why wasn’t she having some kind of panic attack? Delayed reaction? Possibly some kind of trauma-induced shock? She thought it was more likely that she simply didn’t want the dream to end. Heck, just a few days ago, she would have bet money that she’d never even enjoy a first date with Jacob. Now she was cuddled in his strong arms and it felt almost natural—as if she belonged there, which was absolutely nuts. She shifted slightly, moving her hand, and froze. Oh God, the ring. How could she have forgotten about that? Was it real? It certainly looked as if it was. And it was easily two carats, maybe more, and there were more diamonds in the matching wedding band. Extending her arm, she wiggled her finger and asked, “Where did this come from?”

  He gave a lazy laugh before putting his hand next to hers. A wide silver band adorned his finger. She gasped in surprise. “It came from the same jewelry store that this one came from.”

  Clearing her throat, she asked, “Was it expensive? How much does a sterling silver ring cost? Can we return it all?”

  “You’re pretty cute when you ramble.” He chuckled. “Our rings are platinum, not silver, so no, they weren’t exactly cheap. As I said earlier, I don’t think we should concern ourselves with anything major right now, so let’s not rush out and pawn anything, okay?”

  Stunned, Lydia asked, “But why would you buy something so expensive when you knew it wasn’t a real wedding?”

  He looked uncomfortable as she stared down at him. Finally, he shrugged and said, “We’ve both acknowledged that we had a bit too much to drink last night. I’m sure neither of us was thinking clearly. It obviously seemed like the right thing to do at the time.”

  She opened her mouth to question him further when a nearby phone began ringing. He shifted their weight until he could look at the screen on the nearby bedside table. She thought she saw him wince before he said, “I’ve got to take this. Why don’t you go shower and dress?”

  You’ve been dismissed.

  Before she could move, he answered the call with a, “Just a second,” then appeared to be waiting for her to move. She scrambled off his chest and out of the bed with all the grace of a dancing elephant. “I’ll, um—just be in the bathroom.”

  As she was hurrying into the other room, she heard him say, “What do you need, Chris?”

  Chris? That was a man’s name, right? Why had he made such a point to get rid of her if he was just taking a business call or even one from his buddy? She’d had the distinct feeling it was a woman, but there had been no affection in his voice. Actually, he’d sounded cold—as if he didn’t like the person on the other end of the line.

  Lydia started the shower, and then dropped her robe onto the floor. The mirror showed marks on her body as well, but Jacob had still gotten the worst of it. Hers looked more like whisker burns. Then her nipples hardened involuntarily as pieces of her night with Jacob played in her head. She had hazy recollections of his mouth on her body—and dear God, between her legs. As her clit started to throb, she wanted nothing more than to march back into the bedroom and beg him to ravish her again, this time while she was sober. It seemed like a crime that she couldn’t recall every moment. When a knock sounded at the door, she jumped backward, narrowly avoiding a nasty fall. “Er—yes?” she called out. I sound guilty, as if I’m in here thinking of sex—and him.

  “Everything okay? I thought I heard you say something.” Geez, had she actually been in here moaning while thinking of last night? She needed to do some damage control—fast. “Mmm, no. I was just . . . singing in the shower.” Lydia cringed at her lie. Couldn’t she have come up with something better than that?

  There was silence for a moment before he came back with, “What song?”

  Are you kidding me? Who in the hell carried on a conversation about something so mundane through the bathroom door? It was almost as if he knew she was lying and was trying to make her squirm. “‘Fight Song.’” She blurted out the last thing she could remember singing. She doubted he knew the empowerment song, but hopefully, it would satisfy his curiosity enough to get him to go away.

  “Really?” he mused. “I like that one. Carry on with whatever you were doing then.”

  Lydia wasted no time getting in the shower and shutting the door behind her. Within a few minutes, she was finished and drying off with one of the hotel’s fluffy towels. She wrapped another around her hair before dressing in her robe once again.

  When she opened the door and stepped out into the room, he gave her a leisurely once-over before walking toward the bathroom. “Do you have any idea where my luggage and purse are?” she asked, looking around the room.

  “Everything should be on the other side of the bed. I found your room key and grabbed your stuff while you were showering. Let me know if I missed anything.”

  The next few hours passed in a blur. After they had both dressed, they opted for breakfast in the restaurant downstairs while waiting for the car to pick them up for the airport. Lydia stared at the passing scenery in a daze. She could barely fathom what had occurred during her girls weekend in Vegas.

  She’d assumed Jacob would be rushing her toward divorce court with embarrassing haste, but instead, he changed the subject or brushed off her concerns when she brought them up. Finally, she’d stopped trying and decided to enjoy the brief moment as a married woman. After all, in the real world, a man like Jacob Hay was about as likely to walk through her door as the Easter Bunny.

  Chapter Two

  “You did what?” Crystal gaped at her. They were in one of the luxury rooms at the Oceanix–Myrtle Beach getting ready for her wedding to Mark DeSanto in just a few hours. This was the first chance Lydia had had to tell her what had happened in Vegas. She had told herself in the hours leading up to things that her friend didn’t need to be distracted by her drama on her wedding day, but the minute she started quizzing Lydia on being in Jacob’s room, she’d sung like a canary. Apparently, men really did gossip as badly as women because Mark had already told Crystal that he was certain Jacob and Lydia had spent the night together. Heck, all of their work friends from Danvers had to wonder why Lydia’s seat was vacant on the flight back to Myrtle Beach.

  “We don’t have time to discuss this now.” Lydia attempted to brush off her questions. She really didn’t want to talk about it in front of Crystal’s sister, Ella, who had gone to check on her daughter and would probably be back at any moment.

  Lydia knew that stubborn look on Crystal’s face, though, and wasn’t surprised when she retorted, “Oh no, you can’t just toss out that you got married and then clam up. I don’t care if we have to delay the wedding; I’m not leaving this room until you tell me what’s going on. I mean, I knew you were with Jacob, but I assumed it was just for some . . . boom boom.”

  Lydia couldn’t help it; she started laughing. “Boom boom? Is that code for sex?”

  “Hey, I heard it on a movie the other night.” Crystal giggled. “Apparently, it stuck with me. So . . . let me put it another way. I thought that you and Jacob were making hot love all night long and were flying home together the next day. Mark didn’t mention anything about you getting hitched, though.” She stood there with her hands on her hips. “I can’t believe he knew and didn’t tell me,” she huffed out. “Are we already keeping secrets from each other?”

  “Cool your jets, girl,” Lydia advised, trying to hide her smirk at Crystal’s tirade. “I have no idea what Jacob told Mark, but you know men have the whole bro-code thing going on. So if Jacob did tell Mark, then you shouldn’t hold it against him. After all, I don’t
think you want to deprive yourselves of honeymoon nookie, right?”

  Crystal grimaced. “Yeah, I forgot about that for a minute. But I’ll totally kick his butt after we get home from Jamaica. Anyway, tell me what in the world happened?”

  Lydia gave her friend the condensed version of everything she remembered, which was mostly all of it by this point. The alcohol might have dimmed her morning-after recollections, but since returning home, the night of her wedding had been playing in her head almost nonstop. She and Jacob had flown home a couple of mornings ago on the DeSanto jet—and she hadn’t seen him since. He’d called her a few times to check in, but she hadn’t seen him in person. When she’d asked him on one of the calls about their next steps, he’d again put her off, saying they should take a little time and would talk about everything soon.

  So now she had a husband who existed only on paper and no clue as to how to deal with it.

  Crystal’s mouth hung open in shock as Lydia finished things with, “So I guess I’ll see him for the first time today since he’s in the wedding.”

  Lydia wasn’t sure how she’d expected Crystal to respond, but it certainly wasn’t the loud whisper, “So . . . how was he in bed? Awesome, right?”

  She sagged back into the plush chair behind her and rolled her eyes. “Is that all the women at Danvers ever think of? Sex?” Lydia and Crystal had worked together in the marketing department at Danvers International for a few years. Crystal’s sister also worked for Danvers, as did her husband, Declan Stone. Through Crystal and Ella, she’d made friends with a group of amazing women there. When they all got together for lunch, the conversation tended to get pretty risqué. These ladies loved their significant others, but they also admired handsome men in general, so when it came to girl talk, no one’s man was off-limits. Jacob had been a regular subject of speculation ever since Mark DeSanto had opened an office in the Danvers headquarters. She’d read in a company newsletter that The DeSanto Group designed and manufactured one of the best communication service routers in the world. And when Jason Danvers had redesigned his top-of-the-line communications system, he had reached out to Mark and now most of the Danvers equipment included the DeSanto routers. Thanks to that continued partnership, both he and Jacob were now regular fixtures in the building and the subject of a lot of feminine admiration.